American vision

Unarmed Jason Bourne and 007 get into a street brawl, who would win?

Answer by Cindy Womack:

Bond has one potential advantage.

Bond fan that I am, I know the winner on paper (or in the BondVerse MI6's incredible data crunching battle simulation super computer) is Bourne. However Bourne doesn't have whats Really kept Bond alive all these years…Dumb Luck!

How often is it the inability of 20 trained soldiers to shoot straight, of a henchman looking left instead of right, of some piece of equipment failing the villain, a random civilian merging into the high speed car chase, of a completely loyal hench or lover suddenly betraying the villian, etc etc that saves Bond?

In this scenario Bond holds up a bit longer than the average counter agent Bourne fights (probably by sucessfully dodging many of Bourne's moves as opposed to overpowering Bourne and by not following a 'typical' series of moves in a given fighting style), but soon hes on the ropes. Bourne is about to deliver the killing move by way of fist, foot, head…paper napkin, whatever. Or hes about to cripple Bond in an attempt to get him to talk. When suddenly the wind picks up and either…

Sean Connery:
A passing Bread truck ,swerving to avoid something rolling into the street, jumps the curb and as Bourne is now,oddly, incapable of doing more than holding his arms in front of his face is hit by the truck.

Roger Moore:
A bag of flour flies out the same Bread truck; bursting open it covers and blinds Bourne.  A couple poorly executed moves and Bourne is thrown off a convenient bridge/overpass or comically locked in a dumpster.

Timothy Dalton:
Whatever it is that defeats Bourne it'll be singularly uninteresting.

Pierce Brosnan:
It'll be a Porsche Bread Truck with recognizable brand name flour that nearly hits them both. As a crowd starts to gather Bourne takes the truck, Bond steals another name brand luxury car and a chase ensues. Bond forces Bourne into crashing the truck into an internationally recognizable restaurant chain.

Daniel Craig:
Somehow they both windup atop the Bread truck so the fight can go on another 20 minutes as the truck goes thru heavy trafic. Bond hates it as he thinks he's winning but M orders Q to take Bourne out with a miniature drone. Bond winds up sitting stop the truck with the dead or unconcious Bourne next to him.

In all these scenarios the next thing to happen:

M: (via wrist communicator or cel phone) Bond, who is it? Is this the American rogue agent? (Ya know Felix was asked about Bourne earlier in the move and totally lied about him,Treadstone etc ;)

Bond: An American? Yes, Bourne and Bread. (straightens tie, music sting)

Unarmed Jason Bourne and 007 get into a street brawl, who would win?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s